Anna Wintour Is Having None Of Your Shit, Miley.

Miley Cyrus has learned the hard way that everything comes at a price. Twerking: not even once.
It’s the showbiz equivalent of herpes – every time you think this story is gone, it comes back with ten times the strength and an irritating burning sensation. Anna Wintour’s the latest critic of Miley’s VMA jiggle-fest, and seems to have decided that her freakishly large tongue has no place on Vogue’s precious cover. They don’t call her ‘Nucleur Wintour’ for nothing.

The 20-year old was reportedly snapped for the December cover of American Vogue, and everything was full steam ahead on the good ship ‘Grown Up Miley’, right up until the fateful teddy-bear hump ‘n’ twerk that was seen the world over.

Lady Gaga looking through miley cyrus' thighs
After that whole debacle, Anna Wintour has decided that no one can both be heralded as the next great fashion icon and strut around in something they fished out of a dumpster outside the home of one of Lady Gaga’s backing dancers.

“Anna found the whole thing distasteful. She decided, based on Miley’s performance, to take the cover in a different direction”
That’s according to a Daily Mail ‘source’, so as always, take it with a grain of salt.

Of course no one has seen this alleged photoshoot, so perhaps we’re misinterpreting the entire story, and the cover shot was meant to be Miley Cyrus doubled over and dressed like an S&M club’s production of Beetlejuice that’s been styled by Vivienne Westwood. It would be in very bad taste to do that twice.

It’s not much of an imagination-stretcher to imagine Miley on the cover of Vogue – she’s already made the front of Harper’s Bazaar and Vanity Fair, and as much as Vogue like to pretend like their above it all, fame will trump taste every time.

Anna wintour gives the middle finger next to karl lagerfeld
Then again, it’s also pretty easy to imagine Anna giving Miley the boot if she is anything less than a perfectly composed lady at all times. After all, Anna famously shuns the idea of any reality star or anything vaguely Kardashian-like ever gracing the prestigious magazine’s pages, in order to protect it’s reputation. I hope you take solace in the fact that you at home have a better chance of being on the cover of Vogue than Kim Kardashian does.

Here’s hoping that Miley learns a lesson from this – twerking costs more than just your dignity.